Christopher Hediger,
15, had been bullied and teased so much that his
parents had finally made the difficult decision to let him withdraw from
Jefferson Township High School.
"He was relieved to be at home, not to have to go to school," said Chris' mother, […]
PRIV. Things seemed to be looking up for her son and he was excited about taking correspondence and online classes with his friends. Other things in his life seemed to be turning around for the teenager.
"I thought he was doing much better."But on Tuesday, Oct. 9, Christopher went into the garage of his split-level home in Oak Ridge and hanged himself, leaving behind grieving families and friends asking the ultimate question - Why?
How much did the bullying play into his decision, what other factors led to this horrific decision? Experts say in most suicides there will never be a definitive answer for those left behind.
Surrounded by fall decorations and family photos, his mother sat down at the dining room table of the home she shared with Christopher and […]
PRIV to talk about her son and the tragedy. Foremost in her mind was his off-beat sense of humor, evidenced by the fact that he named his new cat that he got in August "Cat." The family pet roamed through the room and then jumped to the window sill to watch the birds as she talked.
She called her son to make sure he was awake around noon on that Tuesday and to remind him that he needed to sign up for an online science course. He grudgingly told his mom he would take care of it and this re-enforced to her that Chris's life looked like it was back on track.
"He was also teaching himself to play guitar and had asked a girl to the movies," his mother said.
"And he had just started a part-time job.""We spent a Saturday together a couple of weeks ago and played racquetball and had lunch," said Christopher's dad[…]
PRIV.
"He was very upbeat and talked about girls he'd been talking to and talked about friends."Christopher always wanted people to be nice to each other and he always wanted to stick up for the underdog, his mom said.
"He fought back for injustice, he couldn't comprehend the injustices in life," she said.Chris was not aloneSuicide is the 11th leading cause of death among Americans, according to the Centers for Disease Control. Men are four times more likely than women to die from suicide. In addition, suicide rates are high among young people and those over age 65. In America, 31,000 people commit suicide each year.
His family said despite the bullying, Chris never attempted suicide in the past or even talked about it.
Psychologist Dr Barbara Ellicott said it is important for parents to make time to listen to their children.
"Really stop and listen to their frustrations, fears and anxieties," she said.
It is important to help them with their social skills for making friends, she added.
Ellicott said warning signs for suicide may be depression, acting to get their lives in order, giving away possessions and poor grades or work performance.
If you suspect someone may be considering suicide, Ellicott said it is important to encourage the person to get counseling.
"Offer them a support system, for example, give them a number to call when feeling depressed."Bullying and suicide is a world problem, according to numerous postings on the Internet. From Australia to Japan, there are Web sites devoted to teens who have been bullied and killed themselves. In some of the nation's shooting sprees, bullying has been a factor.
Happiness turns to misery
After struggling in middle school and dealing with his parents' divorce and his father moving away,
{personalia zastrzeżone} said her son was ready to make a fresh start and was excited about high school. School started and he was gung ho, she said. For the first week he was up and ready to go before his sister. He was excited.
"I underestimated the adjustment," she said.
Once in the gifted and talented program, his grades began dropping and he talked about how he was constantly being bullied at school for being different.
Then the peer pressure, teasing and tormenting started again. He was affected by it, even if it wasn't always directed at him, she said.
"Everyone was aware of it," said Chris' father.
"When he knew he was accepted he was himself," Chris' mom said,
"but a comment from someone else or a teacher would make him shut down."Chris' mood seemed to change after his
maternal grandfather died last October, followed closely by the death of two family pets. His mother said a teacher told her that after Chris' grandfather died he wasn't the same.
Friends grieve for the loss
[…]
PRIV met Chris Hediger while the two of them were freshmen in high school and were in the same Earth Science and World History classes. A friendship formed between them when they realized they had something in common. […]
PRIV had also been the victim of bullying.
Capozzi believes that the bullying Hediger endured contributed to his decision to end his life.
"There is no doubt about it," […]
PRIV said.
"A lot of people made fun of him. We were friends because I felt like I could relate to him, I've gone through it too.""He had a bit of humor to him, he was a dramatic, creative person," […]
PRIV said.
"I just miss the fact that there was someone similar to me. Behind the anger was a really creative guy that liked to make videos and photos."Looking back, […]
PRIV said he has regrets,
"I never tried to hang out with him outside of school, Now I wish I would have, it might have made a difference."Capozzi said he was not surprised that Hediger committed suicide.
"Every single moment that he was angry he talked about it," he said.
"It's scary when it's someone your age," he said.
Since Hediger's death […]
PRIV said he has noticed a change in the way people treat each other at school.
"They are nicer to each other," he said. He also said there are still students in the school who have continued to make fun of Hediger, but that other people are getting angry at them and telling them to stop.
If there are lessons to be learned from Hediger's death, […]
PRIV said, they are that people should watch what they are saying to others and people need to be more accepting.
"I just want people to know when you really get to know someone you should realize that they are different people outside of school."More than 500 people attended Chris' funeral. Glenn Hediger said the principal of Jefferson Township High School was there and asked him if there was anything they could do. He responded,
"Listen to the kids, listen to what they want. They can participate, what they have to say matters."Shortly after his death, friends began posting comments on his Myspace site.
"Why do we all wait until something so tragic like this happens to treat people the right way. Always remember what you say or do to someone could scar them forever. Also remember that there is always someone to talk to if you feel there is no hope.""What a tragedy, I hope if there is anyone so depressed that they are contemplating taking their own life that they realize there are options. Reach out to a family friend, an adult, counselor, doctor. People are out there to help you, don't give up.""Chris it sucks to see you gone, it just proves to show that people really did care about you...you have taught us the lesson in a harsh way, but we got the point fast, you have changed us Jefferson kids to better people. RIP.""I think he was just feeling defeated and didn't know who he could turn to. I'm sad for him because of that. I tried to be that person but couldn't be," said his mother.
She said she hopes people learn a lesson from her son's death.
"We need to reach out to all children, not just our own. It takes a village to raise a child.""I think there needs to be sensitivity training, and we have to start with the adults," she said.
"We can't be afraid to put our noses in anyone else's business."He had a "typical" brother-sister relationship, she said, …he really looked up to her, she was his big sister.
She said lately the teens had been getting along with each other and she would often hear them up late into night playing video games.
His mom said Christopher pretty much kept to himself at home but there were a few people he talked about.
"He wasn't one to be in the highlight, he didn't like having any of the attention, and although he had a handful of friends, he was not one to hang out with a crowd," she said.
Christopher loved to make videos and write scripts.
"He wanted to work for Steven Spielberg," his mom said. He wanted to go to NYU Film School.
She said she hadn't realized how long he'd been interested in videos until she was going through old family photos and found a picture of Christopher when he was in sixth grade using a video camera.
"It had to be all or nothing, that's how he lived his life."